Words of a Recovering Junkie.

I asked my son’s permission to copy and post this from his Facebook page. We are rejoicing in the faithfulness of God in His handling of our son. Oh, he is so good to us! How He loves prodigals and longs to see them home…

Here it is, completely unedited, as is. That’s what makes it so powerful:

Hi my name is Graham and I’m a drug addict. This is a little about me. This is coming from a recovering addict of everything I put my hands on. Meth was my drug of choice. I wish meth would’ve never been invented. I was so trapped in the chains of addiction to meth that I didn’t care about myself or anyone else. I begged borrowed stole and hustled daily to get high. I will forever be haunted by the memories of myself and the things I’ve done. Meth changed who I was. I became this “zombie” who cared nothing about anything other than the drug. Thankfully I have a God who cared enough about me to stop me before it was too late. A year ago I was cashing fake checks for a dealer of mine so that I could have money to buy whatever I wanted. Out of the thousands of dollars I stole, I have only one thing to show for it, I bought a 400 dollar cell phone a few days before I was arrested and thankfully I still have it. I also bought two cd’s: Gucci mane Back to the trap house and Outkast stankonia. (I don’t have those anymore.) The rest went to Oxycontin 80’s Roxie 30’s and meth. I was arrested 4-22-10 with 9 counts of forgery (felony) and 3 counts of theft by deception (felony) not to mention I was on first offender probation for Possession of marijuana with intent (felony). Needless to say I wasn’t getting out. I did 6 months in the county jail and six months in Coastal State Prison then Clayton County CI. God had to slow me down. I was on the path to death. I am thankful for it. I wish you would never try meth. It will destroy you. Trust me. I could tell you all this till I’m blue in the face and you’re going to do whatever you want and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop you. But for the people who are still chained to addiction, my prayers go out to you. I am not perfect in any way trust me, but I’m doing my best. I feel better about myself. I have made amends to my family and we are doing great. To all the people I stole from, robbed, cheated, and tricked, saying sorry isn’t enough, but I’m sorry. I’m not the same person, and I work daily to become a better person. This is my curse. This is what I have to deal with daily. But today I will wake up and chose to be sober. Today I chose not to be a zombie. I chose life to the fullest. Not a fake world of illusions that drugs brings but a real world. It’s funny as I was writing this; I got a call from Johnny’s Pizza. I got the job! I start tomorrow. My God is an awesome dude. He helped me break the chain of addiction in my life, granted me parole, and got a 3 time convicted felon, currently on parole, tatted to the gills, a job within a month of my release. Sweet. Thank you God.

There’s The Plow

 

Decisiveness is the fulcrum of true discipleship.  Luke says that Jesus “resolutely set his face to go to Jerusalem.” (Luke 9:51)  He’s about four months away from Calvary and the language that Luke employs emphatically illustrates our Lord’s decisiveness in seeing His mission through to the end.  It’s more about His state of mind and not a geographical change.  It has nothing to do with His checking MapQuest or getting a TripTik from Triple A.  He knew who He was, what He was called for, and nothing was going to get in His way.

 

A few verses down, He encounters three would-be disciples.  He says to each of them, “Decide!”  Me?  Or the world?  Me?  Or your will?  Me?  Or your level of comfortability?  In each case they chose what was behind Door Number Two and left satisfied with that.

 

He says that a true disciple is one who has set his hand to the plow, or, in Elisha’s case burned the plow (see 1 Kings 19:21).  Jesus set His face (“like flint”, Isaiah 50:7) to Jerusalem and we are to set our hand to the plow.  Plowing is about harvest, and in the succeeding verses, Jesus sent out the seventy with this pep talk: “Pray that the Lord of the Harvest will send more plowers into the field.”  Some plant, some plow, some water…but the Lord gets His beautiful harvest!

 

Our Lord cannot use scribes (the first guy) who are worried about looking foolish to their rich buddies when they are found sleeping in caves or under bridges “for a carpenter” instead of their large-mortgage house.  He cannot use the ‘I’ll catch up with you down the road but right now I have a lot of personal stuff to iron out’ candidates (the second guy).  The call is NOW. And there’s the plow!  And He will pass over those who waver between two worlds and the Lord knows this world will usually win out (the third guy).

 

The call is NOW.  And there’s the plow.

 

 Who are the harvesters?  Who are the ones “pressing into the Kingdom” (Luke 16:16)?  They are people who will empty their entire life savings at His feet even though the religious tell them every reason why they shouldn’t.  They are people who will walk away from a lucrative career because their life and livelihood is in His hands.  People who will drop the nets at their feet, leaving every security behind because they see the Greater Incentive, a Treasure you cannot refuse.

 

We need to be more decisive than ever in these changing times.  Before I finished that last sentence I was interrupted by a call from someone I know who just won over $20,000 in the lottery tonight.  Isn’t that ironic?  The world will do stuff like that for us—anything to keep us from treasuring Christ.  Anything to keep us from pressing in, pressing on or setting our hand to the plow.  Tragically, the third certainty of life—after death and taxes—is that twenty grand’ll be gone in a few days, weeks or months.

 

Then what?

 

Decisively pressing in means fighting against that twinge that says, “man, I wish that had happened to me.”  It means being unimpressed by what the world offers because you know nothing can compare to the richness of knowing about a Greater-than-all Treasure and going after it.

 

There’s the plow.  It may look worn, earthy, scarred and rusty, but it’s Who you set your affection on at the far end of the field that really matters.     

Left-Turn Jesus?

When Jesus entered Jerusalem amid the cries of “Liberate us!  Rescue us!  Now!  Today!” He once again zigged when mob mentality preferred He zag and have done with it.  Our Savior who was there when beasts of burden were created, gently nudged the animal on which He was riding to go right when all of the Passover throng urged Him left.

Had He gone left, the road would have taken Him to the Fortress of Antonias, the residence of Pilate who was then governor of Judea.  You can almost imagine the egress of humanity as it parted to give their conquering king leeway to lead the revolution Rome-ward.  Get Rome out of our Home! signs, if there were such, would say.  The waving of palm branches and the rubbing of palms would intermingle buoyed by the hoots and hollers of antsy renegades long tired of Gentile occupation.

But He turned right instead.

“Wha–?”

“What the–?”

“Where’s He going?  Jesus!  Jesus!  Wrong way!”

“Left!”

“Left, we say!”

But the butt end of a donkey spoke volumes.  Its right flank told the fed-up malcontents that this King may not be their king after all.  Where was He going?  Oh wait, I know, some thought.  Optimism rising: He’s gonna do a victory lap around the city BEFORE He rides into the jaws of Gentile dominion.  But they were wrong.

Gently coaxing the beast onward through the thickening atmosphere of suspicion and burgeoning alarm, the Teacher wended His way past the curious and the quietened.  Mouths were hanging open and palm branches drooped, tips touching the stone and sand of the city.  Whispers carried over the tops of heads and more than a few voices raised in faltered protest, still not exactly sure what this quasi-king was up to.

The Temple.  Oh, sure, He needs to go into the Temple for a blessing before He confronts the enemy.  So they thought.

The outer court of the Temple proper was filled with turtledoves, pigeons, lambs and rams.  Moneychangers had their booths set up all over the area and as Jesus dismounted, a strange and deadly fire billowed in His eyes.  He looked upon the carnivalian sight with disgust and wasted little time finding some cords with which to fashion whips.  If no one had been watching and wondering up until now, they were certainly doing just that in this moment.  What was He going to do?  Wait!  The whips must be for the backs of the oppressors!

Hardly.

With zeal no one had seen until this time, the Christ’s arms flashed out tentacles of cord against the backs of the moneylenders and court shysters.  The tips never touched animal flesh but how they snaked and bit into the cloth and skin of those who were turning this sacred ground into their operations of greed and blasphemy.  How the Son of Man whirled in furious passion, a blur of blazing authority!  Howling out protests agains such unrequited insolence, these merchants of mayhem ran for the exits and straight into the waiting arms of the planners of the carpenter’s demise.

Fast forward several days.

Pilate stands before the mob, irritated and incredulous at their fickleness.  How could the same people who lauded and applauded this pitiful Man a few days earlier now want His blood to run down the sewers of the city?  Can anyone figure out these lunatics?  He called for a man named Jesus to be brought forward, a terrorist imprisoned for atrocities against Roman soldiers.  Standing him beside another Man named Jesus, he said:

“Which Jesus do you want?”

You see, One Jesus had said to anyone who would listen for three years that He had come from His Father and most if not all knew exactly what He meant.  He was saying quite literally He was the sent-One from God, God in human flesh, the One this nation had been waiting for, prophesied for centuries, and He was here, now.

The other Jesus was one who spoke their language and gave them exactly what they wanted.  Few know his first name was Jesus but most know him as Bar-abbas, translated: the son of his father, and both stood side by side before the world, as it were, and, except for a shockingly small number, most chose the one who would give them immediate satisfaction.  They wanted the freedom-fighter, not the Giver of Freedom.  They wanted the one who whipped the Romans, not the Jews.

And so Jesus was tried, convicted and crucified.  All because He turned right instead of left. 

There are so many ways to take this but I want to submit that much of what is called the church today, had it been living in that era, would, I fear, blend into that fickle mob, choosing a left-turn Jesus rather than a right-turn Lord.  Many do not want a Supreme King to reign over them but they are fired-up silly for a God who will give them what they want.

Peter himself, in a fit of schizonphrenia, told Jesus to turn left just weeks from Passion week, way up in the foothills of Mt. Hermon near Caesarea Philippi (see Matt. 16:21-22).  Jesus told the disciples ahead of time which way He would turn, but Peter said, “NO!  Not on my watch You won’t!”  You see, Peter couldn’t stand the thought of Jesus dying—for a variety of reasons, some of them subtle, some not-so.  I think that the impulsive fisherman innately knew Jesus’ death meant his own would surely follow.

That’s the church, or at least what passes for the church today.  We want left, left, left!  But Jesus is turning right.  See Him?  And if we are His people, we need to go that way too.

Must Jesus bear the cross alone
And all the world go free?
No, there’s a cross for everyone
And there’s a cross for me.

The consecrated cross I’ll bear
Till death shall set me free;
And then go home my crown to wear
For there’s a crown for me!

 

 

This post inspired by David Pawson’s teaching, “The Uniqueness of Christ”