TO: A young son in the faith
FOR: Introduction to manhood*
RE: My ’50-sense’ worth
Dear young man:
- it is manly, healing and cleansing to cry
- shake hands firmly while looking your counterpart in the eye
- learn and remember names; the most beautiful sound a person hears is their own name being said back to them
- write thank you notes for every good done to you, big or small; phone calls work also
- hold doors for girls, and, oh heck, for everyone else why not?
- never tell a girl “I love you” until you have clearance from the Lord she’s the one
- seek the Lord’s counsel FIRST when you’re confused or doubtful on a matter; save others’ input until after you’ve sat a spell before Christ
- live everyday so as to have a testimony of what the Lord has done for you/means to you
- begin and end your day with prayers of thanks, even if you’re just breathing out a few words; ready thankfulness assures a revived heart daily
- a young woman’s body is sacred; hands off; you must only view any female as Christ sees His bride
- do something adventurous (outside your comfort zone) at least once a month; try something new regularly
- take notes while you’re being given spiritual instruction; writing down the words is the quickest way to own them in your heart
- keep a journal; if you only write a half a paragraph a day it’s worth it; write out a prayer once per week in your journal
- stand out by taking care not to use foolish or vulgar words in your conversation; speak with integrity
- may your word be trustworthy and honorable
- if in doubt, don’t
- learn to ask questions; it’s a sure-fire way to learn
- choose your friends wisely; they must push you to grow in Christ; avoid unthankful, negative people; do not tolerate unkindness or arrogance
- be an available friend, completely unselfish with your time and energy
- show generosity to both God and your fellow man
- volunteer regularly for ministries that bless the unfortunate
- seek out a mentor (an older man) and let him walk out your faith with you (Dad, of course, but someone outside your family)
- strive to learn something new from God’s Word every week
- cultivate a desire to read; read a challenging book every six months (if not monthly)
- return phone calls/texts promptly
- be courteous to service staff in businesses and respectful to every adult
- do not EVER harbor resentment or bitterness; get it dealt with quickly
- be quick to say “I’m sorry” when you are at fault and never EVER tack a “but” onto the end of it
- there’s no shame in trying; I say again: don’t be afraid to try new things; color outside the lines
- you will fail, you will fall; expect at some point to be humiliated, but do not quit – it’s all part of learning the grace of maturity, so long as you don’t allow failures to define and/or hold you hostage
- forgive QUICKLY when offended; do not make people have to jump through hoops for them to feel accepted with you once again
- self-pride is an ugly wardrobe; think and act and respond in humility
- share your faith with someone outside the faith every chance the Lord opens up a door of opportunity
- read a classic at least once per year (your folks can help you identify some of the classics)
- stand up for a weaker brother who needs defending, but turn the cheek when you are a victim (unless your life is in danger)
- take a monthly sabbath alone with the Lord: a day, an overnight in the backyard, an afternoon; let it be a time for you to worship the Lord and renew your salvation
- spend as much time in nature as you can
- be on time; show up 5 minutes early to appointments
- if employed, give reason for your boss to be impressed
- eat well and healthy in your youth – you wouldn’t believe how it all catches up in your later years, and you want to be healthy for the Master until your days run out
- pick up after yourself; don’t make someone have to remind you or, worse, go behind you cleaning up your messes
- welcome suffering and hardship; praise God and trust His heart; there’s no holiness without hardship
- don’t borrow your parent’s faith; lay claim to your own and live it passionately and with integrity
- don’t try to be someone you’re not; find out WHO you are and know WHOSE you are and live out of that
- treat young ladies with same respect you’d expect someone to treat your sister or your Mom
- learn the basics of car maintenance
- laugh five times a day
- don’t use social media to post personal drama and don’t broadcast your entire life on FB and Instagram; leave some mystery and sacred space for your life
- find something to like in everyone; don’t write anyone off – for ANY reason (doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, but show grace to everyone)
- don’t waste your life; pursue Christ with every fiber, muscle and molecule of your being
That’s it.
Proud of you, young man.
Now, go have an amazing manhood!
For Christ and Kingdom,
Pasture Scott
* A friend recently asked me (and others) to offer some sage counsel to his twin boys, turning 13. Dad was taking them on a ‘manhood’ outing and wanted other men of influence to speak life into them via the written word. I’ve retooled what I shared with his boys for this post.