[5 minutes]
Thirty six years ago a baby boy was born in the same city where I first spotted the girl I would marry and who would later be his mommy. That baby was born to someone else, but that someone already gave him up to Jesus so that we could have the rapturous joy of bringing him home. That was then.
He was the answer to his mama’s many prayers and the happy surprise of his disabled daddy. He’s perfect, we said. All his fingers and toes and not a flaw to be seen. He actually favored me. I had only wanted daughters, not a son, but he changed all that with my first look. That was then.
Graham learned how to walk by steadying a pudgy hand on my wheelchair tire, trailing trustingly along as I s l o w l y rolled across the living room floor, him putting one foot gingerly in front of the other. His favorite way to travel was to perch himself between my legs and ride on my footrests, giggling and bouncing at the world in front of him. We were Thunderbolt and Lightfoot. Speed Racer and Chim-Chim. My favorite way for him to ride was when Gra-Gra climbed on my lap, pulled himself upright, facing me. When he grabbed a fistful of my shirt and pumped his legs up and down, that was my signal. Off we went, doing wheelies and spinning and carving donuts in the carpet. That was then.
We could take him anywhere. He smiled at everybody he saw and they usually smiled back. Our little guy loved to sing Jesus songs and was never off-pitch. He made friends easily. He told other little boys on the McDonald’s playground about Jesus. He loved church, he loved his cousins, and he loved Christmas and Halloween and birthdays and pretty much any other day of the year. That was then.
The boy could pick up any instrument and learn how to play it by ear. Like his mama, music was inside him and moved him. He wasn’t a great student, didn’t have the handwriting skills of his mother, but he was the spark of life in every classroom. From kindergarten through elementary school, he was rewarded as the student with the most personality, aka class clown. That was then.
The angels God assigned to our Graham had their hands full. Rambunctious, daring, and always scoping out the next epic adventure, we never knew for sure if we had a tight enough hold on him. He was so adaptable, which is a good thing on the one hand, but not always on the other. Don’t get me wrong; Graham wasn’t a troublemaker, but trouble often found him anyway. That was then.
He gave his heart to Jesus before he became a teenager. I may have mentioned it earlier, but our son didn’t shy away from telling people about Jesus. He went on mission trips, laid hands on people and prayed for their healing, traveled hut to hut with the gospel, and left his only pair of shoes in Honduras for another who had no shoes. That was then.
Prodigals aren’t as rare as you’d think. Especially not the ones who grew up in pastor’s homes. Like many of us, Graham had high hopes but he got mad at a God whom he accused of ruining his dreams. He didn’t know what to do with that, where to take all that anger. It molested him, throttled him, imprisoned him. He became addicted to it, wore it all on both sleeves, and it became the death of him. That was then.
The thing about God’s mercy is that it keeps following us and hounding us and nipping at our heels. All the way home, the psalm says. All. The. Way. Home. God’s lovingkindness never lets up. I shared with another parent of a prodigal just this week the same words that encouraged Sandy and me when our beautiful son died: the power and strength and determined will of God’s hold on us is eternally stronger than our will to walk away from him.
The other thing about prodigals is that some of them, perhaps more than we think, come home. Graham sure did.
God’s merciful love did that. It followed him all the way home, praise Jesus.
Graham would be 36 today. Sandy is in Georgia this week to celebrate still being his mom. She has many things on her docket, but none more important than sitting by Graham’s graveside and reminiscing about all the “that was then” moments. It’s been almost twelve years now, but still we grieve — and that’s okay. Some years are harder than others to celebrate his birthday while mourning his passing. This is one of those years. Sigh.
Were it not for the rich mercies of Christ Jesus, we might just stay by his cemetery plot and never leave, chained to unremedied sorrow. But a hope greater than our grieving is beating in our chests and beckoning us on. We can drive away from that plot of ground, assured and at peace, because there’s a new now, not then, past the veil and scrim of this side of eternity, where Graham is waiting for us to get Home too.
Selah, beloved.
Beautiful remembrance Scott. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Alan, for taking the time to read it. Your words here mean so much.
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My heart is forever touched by your blue eyed, blond haired, full of energy, Jesus loving boy. Miss you Graham! Love you dear friends
Oh how we love our Ka Ka…and how our Gra Gra adored you forever. Thank you sweet friend. You share in our grief so beautifully. 🚗
Thank you, Scott! I think of and pray often for you and Sandy on your journey with Christ. Yes, the sting of death is gone. The sorrow of missing their smiles and hugs stays. But they’ll be accomplished one glorious day – FINALLY!!
Lovely words, Kelly, thank you. How I’ve missed you, dear friend (purely my fault for absconding from FB) and fellow Weigle. I’m so comforted to know and believe such ironclad truth with you!
My brother, your words pierce, convict, inspire, and heal, in one seamless motion.
Every moment, every day, our precious Gra Gra is missed and loved by the multitudes he touched in his authentic, inimitable way.
I wish I could hear him singing and see him dancing with those who have gone before, just one more time.
One day………one glorious day, it will be! 😊❤️
So much love 💕 and prayers to you and your beautiful partner. You both defy reasoning (& gravity 😉) with your incandescent light, love, joy, and grace! THANK YOU!!!!!🙏
Happy Birthday 🎂🎉🎈🎊 Graham Scott Mitchell!
Love, Aunt Jane
Molly J, outside of the Lord himself, you are more than possibly and singularly responsible for being the catalyst in my catching your sister. You were always like the baby sister I never had. You once said you were in awe of mine and Sandy‘s talent level, but through the years we’ve watched you surpass them. Thank you for being our noble sidekick and for riding shotgun in our marriage adventure. And, not the least, for being a great Aunt to Graham and a most necessary support for Sandy during one of her most difficult moments. We love you. Rainbows forever!
Weeping with you now but looking forward to that glad reunion day, Our love and prayers. B&B
There is just no greater Hope! All praise to the Father of mercies and Great Lover of prodigals. Thank you, Brett. I know those aren’t just words from you. They bring great comfort, brother.
Until the Day!
God bless you brother. I just realized this morning I’d like a word from Scott. I don’t imagine that was an easy one to write.
Today, especially. But honestly, I didn’t wake up this morning thinking I would write, but by noon the words just flowed out of me. Thanks for your faithful readership, Jon. And mostly your friendship.
As always your words about Graham speak to my heart for many reasons.
Praying for your hearts still missing your precious son.
Thank you, Lesa. And especially I thank you for being a dear, compassion-filled friend these many years. May the Father continue to cover you and yours with his kindness all your days.
The moment I saw your email in my inbox with your “from the heart” writing, I remembered it was Graham’s birthday! ( Our wedding anniversary date) May God’s faithful, gracious, sustaining hand hold you both each day giving comfort and strength. Heaven — when our faith is sight!!! What a wonderful reunion day it will be! Aren’t we so thankful for the hope we have in Jesus !
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! Bless you, Beth, for taking time out of your festivities to share the gift of your always-kind words with me. Mostly, thank you for remembering Graham’s birthday. We receive your beautiful prayer/blessing and wish you both the extraordinary riches of God’s great love!
Beautifully said, Scott. I’m so thankful for the Lord’s hold. Blessings to you both.
So kind of you, Beth. Held and kept by Jesus! Those words are life to us and health to our bones. Amen, sister, thank you.
Scott, thank you for sharing your heart. We love you both.❤️
Kindest thanks, Joe. That really means a lot, my friend. Our love to you and Terry!
Sending big hugs to you both!! God has a plan for each one of us and sometimes we love it and sometimes we hate it, but which ever one it is we have to stay strong and life goes on. Lots of Love and Prayers for you both. Miss you
Amen, Linda, what an absolute pleasure to hear from you again! A memory of you from the hospital long ago popped up in my head not too long ago. I hope you are doing well. Thank you for your kind comment here. Hugs from Sandy and me also, kind friend!
We are missing Graham with you guys, Scott. So many memories that just make us smile and laugh. Just last night a movie came on and Alan said, “Graham loved this movie.” Unforgettable Graham!
I so love the words in the bridge of that song you shared. The visual picture of locking eyes with the Father… ready with your thought out speech… finding your words unnecessary. So looking forward to the day that Graham tells us what his first conversation with the Father face to face was like… what that first embrace was like. Until then, we hold each other. All our love and all our hugs to you and your beautiful bride.
If it was “Tommy Boy” then yes, lol. The night Graham left this earth I found it on some streaming service and watched it, in remembrance of him, imagining my boy in the room with me and hearing his laughter. Oh how I cried and laughed and missed him.
You guys have been nothing but the best friends through our tragedy and the whole process of rebuilding our lives in faith. Thank you for sacrificing your lives to fly to Minnesota to make sure Sandy wasn’t alone in that ordeal. Thank you also, Kelli and Alan, for always keeping a warm place in your hearts for the greatest kid we’ve ever known. Our gift from heaven. We love you.
Great testimony Scott. Thank you for sharing.
Jeremy, thank you! I’m so blessed to have a new reader, my friend.
As always, you words touch my heart.
I’ve been so blessed to have you join me in my journey, Lesa. You’ve been there from the beginning!