Things I’d Say to a Teen-age Boy

TO: A young son in the faith
FOR: Introduction to manhood*
RE: My ’50-sense’ worth

Dear young man:

1. it is manly, healing and cleansing to cry
2. shake hands firmly while looking your counterpart in the eye
3. learn and remember names; the most beautiful sound a person hears is their own name being said back to them
4. write thank you notes for every good done to you, big or small; phone calls work also
5. hold doors for girls, and, oh heck, for everyone else why not?
6. never tell a girl “I love you” until you have clearance from the Lord she’s the one
7. seek the Lord’s counsel FIRST when you’re confused or doubtful on a matter; save others’ input until after you’ve sat a spell before Christ
8. live everyday so as to have a testimony of what the Lord has done for you/means to you
9. begin and end your day with prayers of thanks, even if you’re just breathing out a few words; ready thankfulness assures a revived heart daily
10. a young woman’s body is sacred; hands off; you must only view any female as Christ sees His bride
11. do something adventurous (outside your comfort zone) at least once a month; try something new regularly
12. take notes while you’re being given spiritual instruction; writing down the words is the quickest way to own them in your heart
13. keep a journal; if you only write a half a paragraph a day it’s worth it; write out a prayer once per week in your journal
14. stand out by taking care not to use foolish or vulgar words in your conversation; speak with integrity
15. may your word be trustworthy and honorable
16. if in doubt, don’t
17. learn to ask questions; it’s a sure-fire way to learn
18. choose your friends wisely; they must push you to grow in Christ; avoid unthankful, negative people; do not tolerate unkindness or arrogance
19. be an available friend, completely unselfish with your time and energy
20. show generosity to both God and your fellow man
21. volunteer regularly for ministries that bless the unfortunate
22. seek out a mentor (an older man) and let him walk out your faith with you (Dad, of course, but someone outside your family)
23. strive to learn something new from God’s Word every week
24. cultivate a desire to read; read a challenging book every six months (if not monthly)
25. return phone calls/texts promptly
26. be courteous to service staff in businesses and respectful to every adult
27. do not EVER harbor resentment or bitterness; get it dealt with quickly
28. be quick to say “I’m sorry” when you are at fault and never EVER tack a “but” onto the end of it
29. there’s no shame in trying; I say again: don’t be afraid to try new things; color outside the lines
30. you will fail, you will fall; expect at some point to be humiliated, but do not quit – it’s all part of learning the grace of maturity, so long as you don’t allow failures to define and/or hold you hostage
31. forgive QUICKLY when offended; do not make people have to jump through hoops for them to feel accepted with you once again
32. self-pride is an ugly wardrobe; think and act and respond in humility
33. share your faith with someone outside the faith every chance the Lord opens up a door of opportunity
34. read a classic at least once per year (your folks can help you identify some of the classics)
35. stand up for a weaker brother who needs defending, but turn the cheek when you are a victim (unless your life is in danger)
36. take a monthly sabbath alone with the Lord: a day, an overnight in the backyard, an afternoon; let it be a time for you to worship the Lord and renew your salvation
37. spend as much time in nature as you can
38. be on time; show up 5 minutes early to appointments
39. if employed, give reason for your boss to be impressed
40. eat well and healthy in your youth – you wouldn’t believe how  it all catches up in your later years, and you want to be healthy for the Master until your days run out
41. pick up after yourself; don’t make someone have to remind you or, worse, go behind you cleaning up your messes
42. welcome suffering and hardship; praise God and trust His heart; there’s no holiness without hardship
43. don’t borrow your parent’s faith; lay claim to your own and live it passionately and with integrity
44. don’t try to be someone you’re not; find out WHO you are and know WHOSE you are and live out of that
45. treat young ladies with same respect you’d expect someone to treat your sister or your Mom
46. learn the basics of car maintenance
47. laugh five times a day
48. don’t use social media to post personal drama and don’t broadcast your entire life on FB and Instagram; leave some mystery and sacred space for your life
49. find something to like in everyone; don’t write anyone off – for ANY reason (doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, but show grace to everyone)
50. don’t waste your life; pursue Christ with every fiber, muscle and molecule of your being

That’s it.
Proud of you, young man.
Now, go have an amazing manhood!

For Christ and Kingdom,
Pasture Scott

* A friend recently asked me (and others) to offer some sage counsel to his twin boys, turning 13. Dad was taking them on a ‘manhood’ outing and wanted other men of influence to speak life into them via the written word. I’ve retooled what I shared with his boys for this post.