it’s here!

42 years, 255 pages, and dozens of attempts later, it’s done. I’m finally a published author!

Though He Fall: My Journey Through Surrender, Loss, And A Thousand Healings is my testimony of God’s sustaining grace through disability, grief, and a parent’s worst nightmare. Above all, it’s the story of the overwhelming goodness and sustaining grace of God.

Early in the summer, I was pressed, rather than prompted, by the Lord to “finish the book.” It seemed urgent back then, so I laid aside almost all of my other activities and sank myself into the discipline of writing in order to get my story “out there.”

With the generous help and keen eye of some friends, I’m happy to report it’s done. I couldn’t have finished this assignment without Kelli and Tim and Mark and Kim and, of course, Sandy. The book is a whole lot better because of them.

I’m honored to share this project with you and pray you will be given a wider lens through which to see the amazing mercies of God. Indeed, He doeth all things well.

Selah, beloved.

Psalm 37:23,24


make it make sense, lord


I call out to you, “Violence!”
But you do not deliver!

Habakkuk 1:2


Two Fridays ago was meant to be when 9-year old Evelyn Dieckhaus was to sing “What a Wonderful World” in a play at her Nashville school. Instead, her life was cut short by a bullet from an AR-15 carried by a young woman with a demonic grudge.

A bullied thirteen year old Indiana boy recently ended his life. Before committing suicide he left a video in which he named his tormentors. They made fun of his size, his haircut, and his clothes. The seventh grader dreamed of playing for the St. Louis Cardinals someday. Tragically, all he leaves behind is a void.


Why do you force me to witness injustice?
Why do you put up with wrongdoing?

Habakkuk 1:3


In the Netherlands, a television show had transgendered adults appearing naked in front of an audience of impressionable children. Unashamedly exposed, each expressed to the 10- to 12-year olds how “euphoric” they felt about their sex change surgeries. Grooming and pedophilia aren’t even masked anymore.


You are too just to tolerate evil;
you are unable to condone wrongdoing.
So why do you put up with such treacherous people?

Habakkuk 1:13


Habakkuk speaks for all of us. How much news do we need to watch before we say, “Make it make sense, Lord!” Just when I think it’s safe to open up Twitter, I find myself needing to log off for my own emotional health.

Habakkuk, like us, reacted to the news cycle of his day. And, like many of us, he wasn’t exactly subtle with his objections:

  • HOW LONG, LORD? (v2)
  • YOU DON’T LISTEN! (v2)
  • YOU DON’T DELIVER! (v2)
  • WHY? (v3)
  • WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH THESE PEOPLE? (v13)
  • WHY DO YOU SAY NOTHING? (v13)
  • ARE YOU GOING TO LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS FOREVER? (v17)

I can sing about a heavenly home and enjoy for a moment the stirrings it evokes, but a land in the “sweet by-and-by” feels a long stretch of road and many miles away. I know everything will make sense then, but how do we make sense of things now?

That was Habakkuk’s dilemma. Isaiah, a hundred years before him, lamented, “We wait for light, but see only darkness.”

What hope is there for a young mother who vomits from her second round of chemo or the college coed showering off her sexual assault or a parent standing over the grave of a child who was struck down in a drive-by? Where was God when all of this was happening to me?

In today’s world the inmates are running the asylum. We, on the other hand, are plagued with “headline stress disorder” and weighed down with laments in the key of heavy. Society is twisted and dark and getting darker by the day. A growing number believe the world has long passed its expiration date. Hope, for them, is a folly.

If you stick it out with the young prophet you’ll begin to heal, whatever your situation. While his opening remarks are freighted with anger and frustration, by chapter 2 he sees a glimmer. By the 3rd chapter, the glimmer becomes a fiery sunrise.


I will stand at my watch post; I will remain stationed on the city wall…

Habakkuk 2:1


If chapter one asks the question, “WHERE ARE YOU, GOD?” Habakkuk gets his answer in the last verse of chapter two:


the LORD is in his holy temple.

Habakkuk 2:20


The smoldering prophet gets this epiphany when he says, “I’m too worked up. I’m going to stop, watch, and listen.” I can’t tell you how many times in my journey I’ve had to take counsel with those words. Habakkuk takes a sabbath day and starts to see and think and, yes, feel differently. By the time our guy closes in prayer (chapter 3) you’re of a mind to start unlacing your shoes.

David saw the same thing. He was battling an inner urge to fly away, to flee, to find a cave and hide from everything and everyone. But he knew a few things about his God: he knew God was eyewitness to all that troubled and provoked David (Psa 11:4) and was on his side (Psa 11:5); he also knew God was “just” (Psa 11:7) and would vindicate and bless David in the end. And while all those destroyers of the foundations (Psa 11:3) suffer brimstone and fire and reap the whirlwind (Psa 11:6), he would gaze upon the beauty of the LORD.


Habakkuk leaves us with two watchwords to aid us in trusting God to make sense of our nonsensical world. He invites us to (1) remain at our post (Hab 2:1-4) and (2) go to our knees (Hab 3:1-16).

“Our post” is the place where we can do the most good in the Kingdom:

  • It is where we walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor 5:7).
  • It is where we hold fast the confession of our hope (Heb 10:23).
  • It is where we keep ourselves in the love of God (Jude 21).

“On our knees” is where we confess our reliance on the immutable God who works all things together:


In music theory notes that aren’t part of the harmonic chords in an arrangement are said to create “tension.” To move those notes back into alignment with the whole theme is called “resolution.”

Today’s headlines and clickbaits draw attention to drama that doesn’t belong in the desired intent of God’s Story. Nevertheless God knows how to bring resolution from the tension. He’s done it before; he’ll do it again.

Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”

—Frederick Buechner

Good and bad. Horrifying and glorifying. Take it all…and put it in God’s great hands.

Selah, beloved. Peace. Be still.

psalm 68


God springs into action.
His enemies scatter;
his adversaries run from him.
As smoke is driven away by the wind, so you drive them away.
As wax melts before fire,
so the wicked are destroyed before God.
But the godly are happy;
they rejoice before God
and are overcome with joy.

🔹🔹🔹🔹

Psalms 68:1-3, NET

The Goliath you’re facing day in and day out, the one that’s been harassing and intimidating you, rattling your cage and kicking sand in your face? That devil is still ‘God’s devil.’ (Martin Luther)

To the army of Israel, Goliath looked huge from a far distance, but David discovered that he was just a scalp on his belt up close. Even the champion’s arsenal fit quite nicely on David’s mantle.

Psalm 68 is a victory psalm. It’s ten stanzas of battle hymns and rah-rah emotion. The writer, presumed to be David, is electrified by God’s feats on the field of battle. He recalls how the ark once went out with the armies of Israel and every time the enemy was soundly defeated. Now he’s bringing the ark home.

The Bible tells us God is our rear guard. A soldier might say he has our “six.” He goes before us. He covers us. Beneath are his everlasting arms holding us up. Everywhere you look God is … there.

he fights for you

Maybe the devil is having his way in your life. It seems so. The preponderance of evidence says so. But take heart, believer; your Lord, the God of the angel armies, is orchestrating his doom.

My young godson, Maddox, wants to know if the devil is stronger than we are. With all the principalities and powers and rulers of darkness at his disposal, we are not a match for him in ourselves. But he’s not greater and stronger than our God. When we trust the God of heaven, and take our strength from him, the devil is no match for us!

You are the apple of God’s eye (Deut 32:9-10; Psa 17:8), a stone on his breastplate; your name is engraved on his palm (Isa 49:16). As a benefactor of the blessing of Abraham, the Lord God Almighty is your shield and reward.

Early in our ministry I did a lot of singing. A few of you know that Sandy and I recorded three albums of music and I wrote a few of the songs. One of them, Encourage Yourself in the Lord, is based on 1 Sam 30:6. Years ago I was blessed to share it in a conference where Joni Earekson Tada was speaking.

He fights for you

He lifts up the fallen

And he cares for you

He meets all your needs

He wants you to rest in his promises

And yearns for you

To trust and obey

So encourage yourself in the Lord, my friend

Encourage yourself in the Lord!

There’s a whole story about how the sound guy didn’t cue the accompaniment track correctly and started it in the middle of the song. I was completely lost, humiliated, and ready to stone the sound guy. But I digress.

The point is God fights for you when things happening to you are out of your control. The devil will have his “Pyrrhic” victories here and there; that’s not in dispute. The truth of it is better than the shame of it. God is working even your defeats into triumphs and your failures into glories.

if the devil’s been defeated, why am I getting beat up?

Good question, that. Goliath, vanquished forever, is still out here intimidating and spewing curses on the Church. He’s defeated, yes, but still he roars.

What he cannot do is unsave you. He can lie to you but he can’t lie to Jesus. He can’t separate you from the love of God. He can boast but he can’t back it up. He can beat you today but he can’t defeat you ultimately. He isn’t more powerful than the God who is in you.

He’s been de-fanged and de-clawed. Neutered. The Christ of the Cross has crushed his head. Whatever you’re facing, God stands between you and it. At times it’s difficult to see the Lord when there’s nothing but smoke and blackness of night, but he’s there all right, an imposing pillar of fire. The enemy doesn’t have a snowball’s chance with God on your side.

The devil is still God’s devil. You think he’s running amuck in your life when he’s really on a leash held by Christ. He can’t do a thing to you without the Almighty’s permission. The enemy intends evil, but your Savior Lord intends good.

The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Romans 16:20, CEB

The God of the angel armies rides on the clouds. Jesus walks on the waves, the Spirit follows with resurrection power. Believe me, nothing can overcome you. You are safe. But not only safe; in Christ, you are victorious. God’s plan is for you to be overcome…with joy.

I pray you are overcome today.

Selah, beloved.