my own private bethesda

©️Pasturescott

Today is sacred to me.

I understand every day is sacred, but this one has an extra blast from the ram’s horn for yours truly. Not coincidentally, on days like this, I am prone to go off by myself (this time a coffee shop in Carrollton, Georgia) and peck out some thoughts on a keyboard, of which such exercise is probably more for me than it is for you. Sorry, no offense.

This is how I process: I write.

Today is year thirty-eight of disability and I couldn’t be happier. Weird, huh? I guess if you knew me it’d make better sense, especially the many of you who have walked with me these nigh-unto four decades. By the way, thank you for that. Some of you have been my ‘inner circle friends’ and I can’t possibly know how I ever deserved you but I’m eternally grateful. The dude who was the rehab psychologist at Shepherd in Atlanta was worried about me back in ’81 because I smiled all the time. He assumed I was in denial about my condition until he saw the steady stream of friends who visited my room every week. It dawned on him, bless his heart, that my faith family were medicine for my soul. Still are.

So…thirty-eight. Crazy, huh?

Each year that passes causes me to ask what it might mean and where the next year takes me. I like to look at the numbers themselves and find their (possible) spiritual significance. I don’t go all harebrained, mind you, but some numbers just work in powerful ways in God’s economy. In the natural, many lay down their bets on ‘Lucky 7’ and avoid the number ’13’ like the plague. It might surprise you to learn (not you-you, but the other ‘you’ reading this) God has given us numbers to identify the working out of his redemptive plan in the cosmos. I embrace the number ‘5’ often in my walk with Christ as it represents ‘grace’ and we all need as much of that as we can get.

I started looking at the number ’38’ and had to laugh because after some degree of mulling, the most obvious reference to it sneaked its way past my mental firewall. Ah yes, of course. How could I miss it?

John 5:1-6

After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.

Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades.

In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed.

One man was there who had been an invalid for THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS.

When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?”

One more time for the people in the back:

[How long?] “THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS.”

“It me.” 😊

Pretty sure the Father was like, ‘Helloooo…”

The story picks up at the “Sheep Gate” in Jerusalem; this fact alone should call to mind the Shepherd whose voice the sheep hear, not to mention John the gospeler has already called Jesus “the Lamb” (John 1:29) and the “Good Shepherd” in chapter ten. One gets the idea this is a pretty important theme for the beloved disciple.

Here’s a downcast sheep lying among a great crowd of cast-down sheep and he can’t do a thing to help himself into the healing spa-like waters of Bethesda (Beth=house, hesed=mercy). Suddenly, One who is called the Lamb of God kneels down where he is and asks if he’d like to be healed.  Can you just picture every head in the vicinity popping up and spinning in their direction?

The area was lousy with sick folk and here comes Mercy Incarnate winding and wending His way through the nooks and crannies at the direction of His Father’s Voice (John 5:19; 8:28-29; 10:14). He pulls up suddenly, looks down, and parks right next to this particular man on this particular day at this particular moment.

A word, if you will. If you are waiting on your healing, do not lose heart. Mercy will find its way to you. Nothing will hold it at bay or block its path so long as God directs it through in your hour of trouble. Keep going to the “pool” in the backyard of the House of Mercy and don’t stop going. I’ve been going to the same Living Water for thirty-eight years, waiting expectantly for the Day, but each one that passes and I don’t hear my “Get up, son” I still hear His “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. Let’s sit together and watch what unfolds together.”

I can’t tell you just how comforting His Presence has been to me these years. Thirty-eight of them, occupying this same patch of ground every day, day after day. My own corner of Bethesda. It’s often a grind but I’m daily sunning in His Mercy. ‘Hesed’ has been my trusty beach umbrella. Hope is always playing in my earbuds.

As it closes in on sundown here in this coffee shop I know weeping is likely to have its say, but I know the sun’ll come out tomorrow and My Shepherd will still be here, beside me, at this pool. And we’ll do it together until I hear my “Today’s your day, Scott; time to get up.”

Maybe this is my year.

Maybe next year.

That’s up to the Good Shepherd, and, believe you me, I’m listening for His Voice; you’ll forgive me if I run out on you if this turns out to be my year.

thirty thoughts

©️Pasturescott

John 11:25-26
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

                ▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️🍃▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️                                 
Today our son would turn 30.

We miss him:

His easy manner.

His cocked-and-ready smile.

His crazy, over-the-top humor.

His adventurous spirit.

His companionship.

His quick wit.

The way he so easily befriended the marginalized.

How he was completely cool with his being adopted.

How he hated to see those he loved suffer.

When he played his soothing guitar late at night.

How he always, ALWAYS, said “I love you” at the end of a phone conversation.

How he loved surprises.

His sincere questions about faith and life.

How he despised hypocrisy.

How easily he could forgive.

How hard he hugged.

Whenever he did his Chris Farley impersonations.

Even his tattoos (not all of them, mind you).

How he was his own unique brand.

Today he would turn 30.

Our faith reminds us every day we will see him again; not some idea of him or a mystical hologram version, but him.

In all His glory.

CS Lewis once said regarding those we love who are now in heaven we’d be tempted to fall down and worship them as the version they are now, so great is the glory they are wrapped in.

What a glorious thought.

A blind friend came to the funeral home and handed me a scrap of paper with a message his wife helped him write. It said, “Next time you see Graham he will be running toward you, gleaming.”

That will be then, thank Jesus, but today we grieve that that day is not today.

We miss him something fierce.

Another friend told Sandy and me after the funeral, “I don’t want to ‘be remembering’ Graham, I want to be knowing him.”

We do too.

I’d want to hug him hard and tell my boy so many things so much differently.

But the one thing I’d say exactly the same is “I love you son. I’m glad you’re mine.”

What I want to say to him on his 30th birthday…

What I really, REALLY want to tell him is:

“Graham Scott Mitchell, we’re so happy to see you again. We’ve missed you like you wouldn’t believe.”

no man takes it from me

Photography ©️ Pasturescott

John 10:17-18
For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”

 

That free and evil men sought and secured his death cannot alter the fact that he knew what they were doing – and let them do it. You cannot murder God. Hold in mind who it was who hung and suffered there, and you will not think of it as martyrdom.

 

If He was a man, it was murder; if He was God, it was an offering.

 

If He was man, it was martyrdom; if He was God, it was sacrifice.

 

If He was man, they took his life from Him; if He was God, He laid it down Himself.

 

If He was man, we are called to admiration; if He was God, we are called to adoration.

 

If He was man, we must stand up and take our hats off; if He was God, we must fall down and give Him our hearts.

 

– W.E. Sangster, They Met at Calvary