Before You Walk Away From Church For Good

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Pew Research says the Church in America is dying.1

Barna, in an earlier research project, says kids (and what demographic adds more life to the church?) are leaving the church in droves, starting at age 15.2

Lifeway Research says they’re not leaving for good, but they’re definitely on hiatus.3

Rachel Held Evans’ best-seller, Searching For Sunday, gives a millennial voice to an entire generation of young church-leavers.4

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I’ve read RHE’s book and found it fascinating, actually. So much in it resonated with me. Before I ever knew Rachel’s story I was already in the mode of moving from contemporary-for-the-sake-of-relevance liturgy to a more ancient or apostolic liturgy. The symbols of the sacraments were no longer just that to my seeking heart. They have become a deeper reality, a more meaningful expression of community worship. They are alive and effectual. Churches I’ve grown up in treated baptism and the Lord’s Table with the same passion as a quarterly church business meeting – which is the frequency by which they were observed, sadly. No, I’m not looking for robes and mitres and censers. But I’d like less emphasis on the band, the preacher’s hipness, the synchronized lights and (in some cases) the fog machine.

Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a diatribe against contemporariness (if that’s a word; auto-correct doesn’t think so). I’m just aching for something closer to the root of our apostolic faith, not dangling out on the end of some flimsy branch.

Barely a chapter in, I was already tweeting Rachel and thanked her for her reverent treatment of the sacrament of baptism. I verbalized that she and I might differ on some other matters (which we do, most assuredly), but she’s my sister and I celebrate her. This may be neither here nor there, but she replied to my tweet. Graciously. And she has at other times too. It speaks well of a well-known personality that they would respond to a lesser-known nobody like me. I’ve found it rare on social media.

But, I’m off topic. We’re talking about you, not me.

So you’re fed up with church. You’re moving dangerously in the direction of thinking you can get on without her. Think again.

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Oh, I get your angst. I know when you do the whole church, steeple, open the doors and wiggle your fingers thing, everything up to the fingers is okay. It’s the people that stop you in your tracks. Yes, churches contain mean people, judgmental people, hypocrisy and opulence at the expense of your community’s poor. No argument here.

Modern church experience can be akin to the “before” picture of a weight-loss ad. Nothing to get excited about there; more to be disgusted with to be sure. But give it time.  If your only church experience has been a “before” picture, switch magazines – or gyms! But you yourself need the running track, the ellipticals, the Zumba class, and the stair master too.

Why? Because you’re a walking “before” advertisement also.

Don’t leave the church. For all her faults, she is still the receptacle and conduit of hope and truth to the fallen world. For the love of all that’s good and holy, find a thriving community of faith and cleave to it, whatever expression. Just make sure the sacraments and elements of Acts 2:42 (and baptism!) are in play there.

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Let me close out this post with some articulate thoughts from Barbara Brown Taylor which Rachel Held Evans uses to close out her highly readable book. Okay, okay, settle down. Easy now. I make no apologies for quoting from two progressively-inclined women in Christianity. They are my/our sisters (which makes me happy) and both make helpful points here. Barbara first:

Whether you are sick or well, lovely or irregular, there comes a time when it is vitally important to your spiritual health to drop your clothes, look in the mirror, and say, ‘Here I am. This is the body-like-no-other that my life has shaped. I live here. This is my soul’s address. After you have taken a good look around, you may decide that there is a lot to be thankful for, all things considered. Bodies take real beatings. That they heal from most things is an underrated miracle. That they give birth is beyond reckoning.

When I do this, I generally decide that it is time to do a better job of wearing my skin with gratitude instead of loathing.5

After which RHE flips the mirror:

This is the church. Here she is. Lovely, irregular, sometimes sick and sometimes well. This is the body-like-no-other that God has shaped and placed in the world. Jesus lives here; this is his soul’s address. There is a lot to be thankful for, all things considered. She has taken a beating, the church. Every day she meets the gates of hell and she prevails. Every day she serves, stumbles, injures, and repairs. That she has healed is an underrated miracle. That she gives birth is beyond reckoning. Maybe it’s time to make peace with her. Maybe its time to embrace her, flawed as she is.6

Let’s stem the tide of the recent exodus. Let’s quell the statistics. It’s the way of Jesus to give room, bear up with one another. Do I have stories? I was a pastor, remember?

I could tell you of the time an interracial couple left our church, loudly accusing my wife of racism because she didn’t give their son a solo in the children’s program – when he’d only joined weeks before (it was written, explained and understood by all that a child had to be a part of the choir for at least six months before getting an up-front part). Sandy went to their home to humble herself before them, but no matter. They saw only what they wanted to see and marred a gentle woman’s servant influence.

I could tell you of the woman who was healed of her cancer but through a series of misperceptions, left the church with a final curse of, “this church’ll close its doors a year after we’re gone.” That was years ago and the fellowship still faithfully gathers.

I could…no, I won’t. If I let it, these botherings would define the church for me. But I know different. These were the exceptions, not the standards. For every harsh punch-to-the-gut my wife and I have experienced, we are the undeserving recipients of exponential graces and blessings from our extended church family. Church is a family you choose, every week. Week after week. You put up with it, it puts up with you. And you both are better for it. Together.

So, friend, before you go for good, turn around and look again. You think it’s risky to stay? I tell you, it’s far more dangerous out there, on your own. Don’t go. You’re not alone. Stay and give beauty a chance to grow out of the ash pile. 


1 http://www.pewforum.org/2015/05/12/americas-changing-religious-landscape/

2 https://www.barna.org/teens-next-gen-articles/528-six-reasons-young-christians-leave-church

3 http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2014/may/dropouts-and-disciples-how-many-students-are-really-leaving.html

4 http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/searching-for-sunday-excerpt-body

5 An Altar In The World, Barbara Brown Taylor, pp37-8

6 Searching For Sunday, Rachel Held Evans, p168

Father to Son: The Talk

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I was privileged to pastor for 17 years and remain a pastor of sorts in the same community. I consider shepherding a local community of saints one of the greatest joys of my life, albeit one of the most difficult. Because it demands so much of one’s self I have told numerous minister wannabe’s to pursue it only if they cannot have passion for – or picture themselves doing – anything else.

Still, I could not invent a better “profession”! It is like air that I breathe, food that I consume, a crown that I wear (1 Thess 2:19)…and for all the best of reasons. I like the emphasis that Artie Davis places on this magnificent calling in the context of encouraging a son with ministry aspirations…

If my son were starting a church this weekend…

…and he came to me and asked, “Dad, what are the most important things I need to know?” I would think, “Man, this is my BOY! He has got to get this right.” I would pray a minute, ask him to take out his Ipad, and then say…

1-What you’re doing is all about loving people. Forget that, and you’re doomed

2-Make your wife priority! Never let her feel she’s in the back seat behind ministry

3-Raise your kids in freedom! Don’t let your position make you feel they have to be superstars

4-Learn to hear God’s voice. Know what His whisper sounds like… There is NO other way

5-It would be better to promote someone a year late, than a day early

6-Invest in those on your team. Let them see the good, bad and ugly

7-Never get in a rut! If you change 1-Degree at a time, you will maximize effectiveness

8-Preach from the overflow of what God is telling you

9-Don’t serve bread dough on Sunday morning, serve hot bread

10-Find a group of other leaders, form relationships… They will save your life!

11-Never seek to please people. That is a merry go round that never stops

12-You serve a Supernatural God, look for His movement, if you don’t look, you wont see

13-Hear God, follow Him, and leave the results to Him. “And the Lord added.”

14-Never forget to have fun! Serving God is hard, but you have to fun too!

15-Don’t ever try to be someone else. God put you there to be you…He likes you just as you are!

16-Strive to be a giver and not a taker! Always sow into others, rather than being the “Asker”

-Pastor Artie Davis, Cornerstone Comm Ch, Orangeburg, SC

Let me close out this post by including this quote from our friend, John Wesley. I think he hits the nail on the head when he advises the candidate (and seasoned vets) never to be after a ministry but, well, let’s go straight to the source:

“Don’t seek for a ministry, but seek for the fruit of a disciplined life.”
John Wesley

Amen.

Fond Farewell

The following are excerpts from my final blessing over the finest congregation a pastor could ever hope to minister before…Beloved, it’s been a swell gig…(thank You, Lord)…

Passing On the Mantle...

Seventeen years ago today, I began my pastoral ministry in Douglas County. I was 31 years young, with great ambition and vision. Some thought I was foolish to end a road ministry that was quite successful and pass into obscurity in the small town of Douglasville, Georgia. But the litmus test of success in God’s economy is not position but obedience and Sandy and I both knew God was calling us to a more localized ministry where we could invest our lives in a particular group of people for a prolonged period of time. The starry twinkle in my eyes forecasted I would see a church of hundreds emerge over a span of a few years and then, after 10 years, I would resume life out on the road.

But God said, “Not so fast, big boy.”

I soon discovered I was not in Douglasville to build a church so much as I was put here so God could “build the man.”

When God wants to drill a man, and thrill a man, and skill a man
When God want to mold a man to play the noblest part
When He years with all His heart to create so great and bold a man
That all the world shall praise
Watch His methods, watch His ways
How He ruthlessly perfects whom He royally selects
How He hammers him and hurts him
And with mighty blows converts him into frail shapes of clay which only God understands
How his tortured heart is crying and he lifts beseeching hands
How he bends but never breaks when God’s good he understands
How He uses whom He chooses
And with every purpose fuses him
And by every act induces him to try His splendor out
God knows what He’s about!

Mrs. Pastor with one of her "girls"

When God wants to take a man and shake a man and wake a man…
When God wants to make a man to do the future’s will;
He tries with all His skill…
When He yearns with all His soul to create him large and whole…
With what cunning He prepares him…
How He goads and never spares him! How He whets him and He frets him and in poverty begets him…
How often He disappoints whom He sacredly anoints!
With what wisdom He will hide him;
Never minding what betide him…
Though his genius sob with slighting and his pride may not forget;
Bids him struggle harder yet!
Makes him lonely so that only God’s high messages shall reach him…
So that He may surely teach him what the hierarchy planned;
And though he may not understand…
Gives him passions to command.
How remorselessly He spurs him…
With terrific ardour stirs him
When He poignantly prefers him.

When God wants to name a man and fame a man and tame a man…
When God wants to shame a man to do His Heavenly best;
When He tries the highest test that His reckoning may bring…
When He wants a god or king;
How He reins him and restrains him so his body scarce contains him…
While He fires him and inspires him…
Keeps him yearning, ever burning for that tantalizing goal.
Lures and lacerates his soul…
Sets a challenge for his spirit;
Draws it highest then he’s near it!
Makes a jungle that he clear it;
Makes a desert that he fear it…and subdue it, if he can –
So doth God make a man!
Then to test his spirit’s wrath, Throw a mountain in his path;
Puts a bitter choice before him and relentlessly stands o’er him…
Climb or perish, so He says…
But, watch His purpose, watch His ways.
God’s plan is wondrous kind – could we understand His mind?
Fools are they who call His blind!

When his feet are torn and bleeding;
Yet his spirit mounts unheeding…
Blazing newer paths and finds;
When the Force that is Divine leaps to challenge every failure,
And His ardour still is sweet –
And love and hope are burning in the presence of defeat!
Lo the crisis, Lo the shouts that would call the leader out…
When the people need salvation doth he rise to lead the nation;
Then doth God show His plan…
And the world has found a man!

                                                             (Anonymous)

God was gracious to add seven more years to my ten to finish the work and on April 10 of this year, I heard Him say “Your work here is finished.” Somewhere along the journey we’ve managed to make ready for the Lord a core of people prepared for His coming, yes, but there has been a long and lasting work done in my wife and me. We are not the same people we were 17 years ago. Character has deepened. Faith has been strengthened. A life of more “apartness” and “otherness” is being realized compared to when we first began this journey.

For those who know us best, the past few years have been some of the hardest of our ministry lives, beginning in 2002. Pressures from within and without, destructive forces working against us, loss of hope, sleepless nights, tears seemingly without end. Perhaps the most difficult years, yes, but we stand before you with the testimony that they have been necessary and we have learned to Praise Him in the Storm. Continue reading Fond Farewell