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“I don’t want to be remembering Graham, I want to still be knowing him.” – Ken Hatcher, a friend


At first glance it’s just a leaf. But a second tells a heart-rending story.

This leaf —

battered,

weathered,

lonely,

still holding on to one more day of normalcy —

fights against change of a painful sort. Sandy and I, too, wish we had had a different outcome three Decembers ago, but God had another story to write with our son. And so we faced the inevitable, released our grip, and

Just.

Let.

Go.

Mary and Joseph felt the icy chill of their own ‘December’ all those yuletides ago. Aged Simeon prophesied to the Nativity couple, when their newborn was a scant eight days young, that their innocent bundle would grow up to cleave the young mother’s heart in half.

Nothing about this young couple would ever be on the scale of normal. From nuptials to cradle to grave they braced against the arctic cold of constant opposition. No one knew their private pain, which was pain enough. All Mary could do was ponder it in her heart. 

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Our son wasn’t the Son of God. He didn’t lead a sinless life, heal paralytics, or save the people from their sin. He wasn’t Immanuel or Savior or King. He struggled with himself, with his demons, and with the world, and he died, another December ago, having lost his battle with addiction.

But Graham knew Immanuel.

He was held by the Savior.

And he was shown mercy by a King who dispenses it lavishly and undeservedly.

So…we brave through yet another imperfectly perfect December, plough onward, face forward, appeal upward, hoping someone would just mention him and not forget him, reach for grace yet again that reels in joy as it whispers past, and deliberately remember all the good. With Graham, thank Jesus, there was an awful lot of that.

And…we look at the bigger picture, the one where we are still knowing Graham…because he is home, after all.

Even in this – another December – God is still good.

Post Author: Pasturescott

8 Replies to “Facing Another December”

  1. You both are in our thoughts and prayers! May the Lord give His grace and strength in a very special way. May He supply all your needs ! Psalm 34:8,19 What a blessed Hope in The Lamb!

    1. And sweet Amy and beloved Ryan, y’all’s love-note of remembrance for that amazing boy meant more to us than anything we experienced through the season. Truly. Much love from us ❤️

  2. God is good, leaving us with memories of a happy, smiling face kid… Game for anything even if it meant another broken bone! I remember thinking ‘what have you done this time, Graham’, Knowing all the while this was gonna be a good one. It always involved an adventure. Smiles.

  3. Yes,royal brother of mine, God is good, all the time. And the devil didn’t win, for Grant is trimming trees with the prettiest of heavenly ornaments, with Jesus, in Heavenland. Psalm 32 vs 7…”You, O Lord, surround [encompass round about] me (royal scott, royal beautiful Mrs sandy) with [supernatural,heavenly,mighty] songs and shouts of victory and deliverance. .” Loves to you both, I’ll set you both before His Throne of grace…bc God is good.🐑👑📖🍭❤🎄🌟🎄

    1. Grace-loving, grace-giving friend, thank you! I can only imagine the festivities that rang throughout heaven’s halls and of which our boy was God’s ‘Little Drummer Boy’ 😄

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