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And these are from The Sacred Sandwich:
Unable to afford a new cutting-edge minister, Riverside Fellowship was forced to temporarily interrupt the sermon while cable technician Earl Schlub converted their old pastor from analog to digital.
Concerned with the possibility of easy-witchism, the girls wonder why Esmeralda
shows up once a year for the halloween Tea Party but can’t seem to make it to the
weekly spell-casting meetings.
Peggy couldn’t be sure, but she had a funny feeling
that Bob and his son had become Hyper-Calvinists.
Not wanting to get left behind, the Tim LaHaye Drill Team
practice their rapture skills every morning before breakfast.
With the implementation of assigned seating, the elders at
Redstone Baptist Church finally began to pinpoint the wheat
and the tares.
As demonstrated above, the “Heresy Avoidance
Technique” is useful in filtering out Mormons,
Jehovah’s Witnesses and lame church bands
KIDS CAN SAY…
(WELL, YOU KNOW THE REST)
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘honor’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’
One boy, the oldest among his siblings, responded, ‘Thou shall not kill.’
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’
The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’
Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, ‘They will in a minute.’
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’
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