Category Archives: Sovereignty of God

This is my story, this is my psalm…

Thirty-one October 2nd’s have now gone by since the accident that put me in a wheelchair. I cringe whenever I reference it as an “accident” as it was anything but. However, human nature being what it is, we like to classify things in terms we can wrap our heads around. To say my fall from a cliff while 17 other people stood as witnesses was happenstance is a miscarriage of truth. The truth is, God – Jehovah-shammah – was there.

And He was actively involved.

He didn’t enter the scene in the aftermath, like an EMT, but was overseeing and overruling the event as it unfolded. Try and wrap your head around that, why doncha?

Did He, then, shove me off the precipice?

Or did He stand aside and let it happen?

I know how we quantify His ways often by saying God “allows” things but doesn’t cause such things. I’ve said it often myself – and on most levels I believe in His permissive will. But we say it like it’s almost a passive will, that He looks at the evil that comes against us and says, “I wish I could stop you but my hands are tied.”

Okay, okay, yes He chooses to tie His hands as He did when His Son was being tortured and brutalized. That’s not my point. I somehow (somehow?) believe that evil set its design upon me 31 Octobers ago and asked for a warrant from the Judge of the Highest Court to tamper with me. The Almighty said, “Proceed” but did something far greater than step aside and let it happen.

He was there.

I said God was actively involved and I believe this is how: Isaiah the prophet encouraged the people of God with the promise,

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. – Isaiah 43:2-3

He told them the LORD would “uphold them with His right hand” (41:10) and I, personally, have been struck by the words I have long since felt the psalmist wrote just for me:

The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand. – Psalm 37:23-24

When the Almighty granted permission for my, shall we say, incident, I believe He added the caveat: “devil, you cannot kill him, cause any brain injury or completely sever his spinal cord. You may make My child a paraplegic, but no worse!”

I then believe God dispatched His angel-ministers to make certain His legislations were carried out.

If you interviewed many of the eighteen college friends that were gathered at Fort Bluff in Dayton, Tennessee that night, more than a few would probably say that over all, prior to my headlong jettison from that bluff (a height of barely 20 feet, thank the Lord), the night was memorable for all the right reasons: the mild temps, sunset over the Pocket Wilderness, the perfectly cooked steaks, the meaningful conversation, etc.

And yet…and yet…

Nothing anyone could up to that point put their finger on, but something felt…well…cockeyed.

What we couldn’t see in those hours between arrival, setting up camp, cooking and eating and cleanup, then the ambulance carting me away, was the open hostility in the heavenlies, where angels and demons stood their ground, the enemy determined to kill me and the heavenly beings determined to not let him.

God was anything but passive. Far from giving the devils free reign and making me open game, He was present and presiding and, as my body tumbled over the edge of that old rugged bluff, He did for me what He didn’t (by choice) do for His only begotten Son – intervene. Aren’t you deliriously joyful that there will never, ever be another son or daughter of God’s for which He will never intervene ever again? That He will always be present in our sufferings and afflictions?

They found me waking from unconsciousness with my head perched on a stone, however, the only mark on my head was a gash above my left eye where a scar still remains. My head wasn’t split open, my brain wasn’t damaged. I wasn’t a quadriplegic. My spinal cord wasn’t severed (although the enemy did everything to it just short of). And I wasn’t dead.

Thirty-one October 2nd’s later and I’m very much alive, with a quality and purpose of life I delight in, the Father is glorified in, and the devil despises (which is just fine with me). To His grace and glory, I’ve never come close to cursing God and taking my life. Every day I awaken I’m acutely aware of something I never much paid attention to those 21 years I lived on healthy legs: the strong Hand of God – His right Hand, He says – holding me up, carrying me when I require it, and hastening me on for another go. Every day, every season, every mile…until I am perfect – just like the One who made me.

“THOUGH HE FALL,
(I) SHALL NOT BE CAST HEADLONG
FOR THE LORD UPHOLDS (MY) HAND.”

Through Many Hardships, Foils and Scares

Do I still think God is good? Do I still praise Him even when my power wheelchair gives up the ghost in the middle of a nearly depleted parking lot because the stores have closed, and it’s night and the temperature is dropping and I can’t reach my hat and gloves just three feet away? And now sleet is beginning to pelt me. And I’m out of town–all alone–and don’t know who to call. Is He still good?

Is God still good to me then?

O yes, He cares!
I know He cares!
His heart is touched with my grief.
When the days are weary, and the long nights dreary
I know my Savior cares!*

It’s true. All that “bad” stuff happened to me tonight–within minutes of posting this on a couple of social media sites:

When we go through the fire, there are two blessed truths that hold us steady: (1) God is OVER it, and (2) He will bring us THROUGH it.

That status/tweet came on the heels of this little gem: Continue reading

Update on Scott

Blessings to all of you. Sorry for the delay in reporting but yesterday (Thurs) was a bit overwhelming.  surgery went well.  Dr. Simon took out 6 pounds of scar tissue & bad “junk” from his hip area (I really didn’t think he had anything left), did the wash and then a muscle flap to replace what was taken out, then sewed him up.  He did great but when they got back him back to his room his blood pressure bottomed out & they coded (red) him. It was a mixture of things that they say caused the “perfect storm” for him.  His blood loss was substantial and it was his third major surgery in 5 weeks.  They gave him four units on the table, four more through the night last night.  He was also dehydrated which happens when you have that loss of blood & surgery, etc. so they gave him 15 ltrs (bags) of iv fluids through the night.  His body temp was 95 which also caused problems.  BUT, all that to say they were amazing here.  Within 10-15 seconds of coding, the ICU nurse was there  with the equipment, the dr was there immediately, they got him going but I will say it was rather scary because he wasn’t responding to them or me or anything.  He said he could hear us, but he couldn’t say or do anything.  I may be a novice on coding, but his regular nurses were all upset, and have been visiting him today and telling him he can’t scare them like that again.  The recusitating machine is still at the foot of his bed with the case opened & the electrode gel ready….but he is stable.  His blood pressure is too low so they are administering Dopamine & that can only be done in ICU.  It is rising slowly but not consistent yet.  Great news on several fronts though.

Kidneys were normal yesterday (which was amazing), but they are excellent today.  They were afraid because they pumped so much fluid in him that kidneys couldn’t handle it, that his heart & lungs would fill up, but heart was checked this am & is excellent and it and his lungs are clear. Respiratory therapist just came in & said lungs are great & they are decreasing his oxygen.  Yippee.  He hadn’t eaten in over two days, so they were pushing him at dinner.  He ate half an egg salad sandwich (yuk) & some grapes & has kept it down….He is fairly miserable but is doing ok. He will probably be in ICU until Monday because of the many areas they are monitoring.  I can tell a big difference even since I got here this morning.  OH, I almost forgot.  They did a blood draw at 6 pm & there is no need for transfusions (PTL).

Your prayers were felt & treasured.  Through everything, there was such peace & HIS presence.  Even though I puked (no nice way to say it). I was sick with a sore  throat fever & took a sinus pills on an empty stomach & publicly emptied said stomach at the nurses station.  28 years of this & I have never been sick while he was in crisis.  Oh well…..they said I did it quietly & quickly & then all was well.  We are both much better today.  He still has a long recovery, but hopefully, we are heading in the right direction.

I came upon a Kay Arthur quote before this latest chapter in the continuing saga of Scott’s health, and I made a note of it because so many people have been asking me how we cope, or what is God doing, or why didn’t he answer our fasting & praying for Scott’s healing, how do you get back up when you’ve been knocked down? I don’t pretend to have the definite answer, but I know  God had been patiently prodding me for the last several years in all areas of my life that I couldn’t change or control the outcome, or fix it, to trust in His Sovereignty, but also in His unfailing love for me.  That said here is the quote, “no other truth has sustained me through all my trials like the reality of God’s sovereignty. Everything that comes into our lives is filtered through God’s fingers of love.”  I have been trusting His Sovereignty in things that were little (which I thought were big at the time), and now it is a joy to wait & see what He’s doing with our lives while we are here at Shepherd watching the tapestry created above being revealed one stitch at a time below.

All our Love & Appreciation Scott and Sandy

MUCH MORE INFO THAN YOU WANTED

Greetings.  No, this is not Scott, so try not to sigh and continue to read.  We tried to think of the best way to communicate without collapsing from exhaustion (ha ha).  This seems to be the best way for all of us.  I think you reached here because you know his blog site, or there was a link on facebook.  Either way, WELCOME.

Thank  you so much for your prayers. We are amazed at the way God has used you to surround us with His peace, comfort and protection.  Bless you all.

Surgery was Thursday morning, and it went well. It was a preliminary success.  They got a tremendous amount of necrotic tissue, and other copious amounts of gunk, and he only had to have two units of blood (they were concerned about blood loss).  His blood levels have been better for the first time in 2 plus years!!!

Friday, the doctors felt optimistic that they got the most out possible and perhaps they would not have to go back into the lower spine area at a later date.  We were happy about that, but then they said that they definitely have to do a skin flap surgery to “close up” the wound area.  Which extends our stay by about 4-5 WEEKS!  So, after we gulped air, we just felt like it would be a blessing to be in here & monitored continuously while they pump him full of antibiotics & he heals.  The hard part is being flat (no more that 30% angle for head) and in bed in the hospital for a long time.  Scott’s had plenty of practice, but each time is still not exciting.

He had a great UNEVENTFUL (which makes it great) weekend. Praise the Lord.

Today, they told him that he had a bacteria growing in the surgery site that had pointers to the bowel and a possible bowel fissure.  Which was also a way they were leaning before surgery.  So, he is scheduled for a big gastric test tomorrow.  We are praying they will find something and it will be an easy fix, but we are just thankful that they are finding “things”.   We are also praying that these abscesses in his abdomen stop and he quits brewing these killer bugs.

Oops, you don’t know it but I was interrupted for a while.  They found ANOTHER bacteria just a while ago, so they are re-calling the infectious disease guy because it is ESBL positive which stands for Extended Spectrum Beta Lactamase=resistant proteus mirabitis. So, we may have to scratch all meds & restart.  See why I don’t write every day.  The infectious disease doctor also said Friday night that he wasn’t sure that it was just in the hip area, that they would have to monitor his blood and if his inflammatory markers continued to stay high, he would press for the spine surgery.

He feels good, he is strong, and his spirits are awesome (he is a continuous shining example of God’s grace & so humbling to me).  We are just in that wait & see mode, and we are so grateful that we are in the best place to be, they WANT to work on him (even after 30 years) they are so gifted and are so good to us. How awesome God is to provide this specialized care for us.

Thanks for caring enough to check on us and pray for us.  You feel like the world and everyone are living large and you are stuck in a vacuum, so your texts (I don’t have unlimited, so don’t go crazy on me), e- mails, facebooks, calls, & cards are awesome.  Just don’t get mad if I don’t respond.  It is hard to fit it in between work, sleep, commuting, & then the revolving door while I’m here in the hospital.

I have been singing “Yes, Lord” all week.  “we are pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed…” WE ARE BLESSED!

Thanks again, to all of you.  We love you, SCOTT & SANDY

Either Way…I Still Praise Him.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
(David, Psalm 139:5)

We are distressed/hard-pressed/troubled/squeezed on every side…
(Paul, 2 Corinthians 4:8)

Nobody puts ‘Baby’ in a corner.
(Johnny Castle, Dirty Dancing)

I’m feeling ‘hemmed in’ these days. Diminished. Limited. Grounded, like a teenager: no keys, no car, no friends. Just school, then home.

On top of that, I feel cornered. Outnumbered.

It’s redolent of a scene in Thor where the Viking hero and his compatriots infiltrate the Frost Giant’s lair and are met by a relentless enemy in wave after wave, each giant becoming more formidable than the last and more numerous than before.

Yeah, that captures it nicely.

On every front a vexing battle is being waged and it seems like I am losing ground.

Ministry.

Family.

Finances.

Friends.

Health.

Some fronts are more like skirmishes while others border on “Shock and Awe.” These days I look like the Arizona border, Iraq (in March, 2003) and Afghanistan all rolled into one. Continue reading

Who’s Your Daddy?

Let Priscilla Shirer motivate you in this appropriate clip for Father’s Day. Priscilla’s dad is Tony Evans and it is markedly clear that his imprint has been passed on to her.

I should add, I’ve met her mom…I think she has had a lot to do with imprinting on her as well!

Fly On The Wall

John Piper and Rick Warren, two of the most influential pastors of our day, sit down to a small round-table and have an hour and a half chat. Piper does the asking, and, according to his stated purpose (pun intended?), desires (another pun?) some clarification from Pastor Warren regarding the doctrines he is most known for, made popular in his book, The Purpose-Driven Life:

My aim in this interview is to bring out and clarify what Rick Warren believes about these biblical doctrines. In doing this my hope is that the thousands of pastors and lay people who look to Rick for inspiration and wisdom will see the profound place that doctrine has in his mind and heart.

This is a marvelous dialogue; it allows us the chance to be flies on the wall as these men pick each other’s brains about such matters as Larry King (24:14), Election (27:00), the Gospel (38:53), and Hell (61:03). For my dollar, Piper’s charge to Warren at the end is priceless and insightful (88:10).

For the entire interview (98 minutes), click here. Here’s a sampling:

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