Green P@stures

“The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out…”
(1 John 2:17, The Message)

“And this world is fading away…”
(1 John 2:17, New Living Translation)

Allow me to tell you about a near-tragic night when I almost chose to end it all.

It was January, the calendar had recently flipped over to 1978, and the night air was frosty clean.  You know the kind of air I mean; such that makes even your lungs feel brand new.  And was I ever pulsating with life!  I had just taken my girlfriend home and was looking forward to our prolonged good-night ritual.  Nothing dirty, mind you, just your garden variety hand-holding, kissing, small talk and listening to 8-tracks.  My choice was always Manilow, hers Fogelberg.

We’d been dating for a year or so and both of us were seniors at our own respective high schools; she, at a public high school a half-block from her house and I, at a christian school across town.  We met at work, of all places.  She worked the jewelry counter at a department store and I was one of three stock boys.  The girl was everything to me!  Other female employees thought we made the cutest couple while my mates constantly made kissing sounds whenever I ventured near her counter, never having the end of their taunting and teasing.  Me, I could care less.  I was smitten with she of the auburn hair.  I had hopelessly fallen.  Hard.  Only seventeen, but she was definitely the one.

The prolific engine of her soft blue ‘78 Camaro hummed as it idled in the driveway while we snuggled up in the interior warmth and sat silently in the reverie.  Flecks of snow began to hit the windshield and within moments the late evening sky was shaking out an abundance of thick white flakes.  I kid you not, amid the wintry ballet all around us, the radio was spilling out the words,

“I think about winter, when I was with her
And the snow was falling down
Warmed by the fire, I love being by her
When there’s no one else around…”

It was truly the most romantic time I’d ever experienced in my young life.  I was falling headlong in love with her all over again.  I looked deeply into her eyes just then, but saw something that troubled me.  I saw doubt.  Clearly she wanted to say something but was having difficulty forming the words.  It seemed she was not in the same place I was and, finally, the words came out.  She held my hand with both of hers and her eyes began to tear.

Continue reading ‘Fading’