Archive for July, 2007



06
Jul
07

How Free Do You Wanna Be?

“Master, to whom would we go?”
(Peter, 1st century)

Imagine a slave being given his freedom. Now imagine that same slave telling his master, “No, Master, I love serving you! My place is here with you. May I stay?” When the novelty of Christ wore off on His audience and His popularity waned, particularly when it dawned on them that His mission was not to come and make us feel better about ourselves but to make us holy, He watched a steady stream of “wanna eats but not wanna bes” walk away from Him and hitch a ride onto the wide road. We’ll just find somewhere else to take our business to, they sniffed.

When nary a soul remained He turned and saw His ragtag band of wannabes (save one) standing pat. “I’m not going to make you stay, fellows,” He offered. “You may leave anytime you wish.”

I can visualize Peter grouping The Twelve together in a sort of huddle and the subsequent whisperings, sometimes strained but mostly quiet and orderly. Then, I see as the small clutch of disciples breaks and they watch as Peter approaches the Master. “Lord, we’ve talked about it and pretty much all of us agree: where else could we go? You have the words of life. May we stay with You?”

In the Old Testament, when a slave of Judah was granted their Jubilee pardon, and one decided to stay put in his master’s household, he (or she) would place their earlobe against the doorpost of the master’s house and with a hammer and awl, the master would open a bloody hole in that part of the ear and after inserting a gold or brass or silver ring, the slave was his for life. By choice.

I take you now into the Upper Room on a melancholic Passover evening in Jerusalem’s first century, not too long after the aforementioned conversation. There we find thirteen men lounging around a table laden with the customary lamb, the herbs, the wine, with Jesus as its head. Judas is on one side and John is at His breast. The arrangement is quite telling. At Jesus’ back is Judas. At His front, near His heart, is the beloved disciple. Now, don’t miss this: John’s earlobe is pressed against the Master who has called himself in John’s gospel—and in his gospel alone—the Door. The picture is too good to miss. Here is John, by choice through intimacy, intentionally making himself the Master’s bondslave.

I’m not sure if this was ever attempted but I wonder what it would say of a slave if he or she was to tell their master, “Not just this ear, Master, but my other one as well. I want everyone to see, from all angles, that I belong to you and desire Your reign over me.” I could see an impetuous Peter, a doe-eyed John or a decisive Paul doing just that.

That’s freedom’s cost: a bloody ear. So how free do you wanna be?

One ear or two?

06
Jul
07

Still A ‘Grasshopper’

With respect to some advice I received long, long ago from a mentor, I go through life more a learner than a teacher. These are some things I have learned of late:

  • This one really caught me by surprise: my Sandy is now a prolific fan of country music. This pains me to no end as I just have never been able to get it. Let’s just say I’m open (last word spoken carefully and drawn out). One of her girlfriends (may she find ants in her fruit loops tomorrow) plugged her into that nonsense and now she romances me with the phrase, “I’d like to check you for ticks.” I dunno, I think that’s a good thing? Seems the old girl and I are living the famous Donnie and Marie duet.

  • Jerald tells me my blog is R-rated according to mingle2.com. Seems I’ve used some no-no words like “dead”, “pain”, “kill” and “bomb” in some of my posts. Sorry folks, I’ll clean it up. This just kills me! (Doh!)

  • Studies show if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about 30% less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor—seems it takes a cat about eight floors to realize what is happening and to adjust and right itself
  • In every episode of Seinfeld, you can spot a Superman figure or picture
  • The chess term “checkmate” is derived from the Persian Shah Mat which means ‘the king is dead’
  • To my horror, I recently discovered a blog featuring the smuttiest of porn news had linked to one of my posts (800 Pacos, June 19th)…evidently the lines “Believe me, you are being lied to. That bottle sitting by your bedside. That strange woman you are bedding. Or want to. That next fix you are dying for. The invitation you received to that wild party. Even your vain philosophy. The code you live by: I’m the Captain of My Soul. The estrangement from your family. The penthouse, the pearls, the pools. The porn, the booze” got its attention, perhaps to mock me? Who knows, mebbe it’ll turn out to be a good thing and someone will find deliverance through a pagan medium. And, no, I will not tell you the site.
  • Silly thing, I know, but I did just learn that “Big Ben” is named for the bell in the tower, not the clock
  • A duck’s quack doesn’t echo and nobody knows why
  • Bert and Ernie, renowned pals on Sesame Street, were both named for It’s A Wonderful Life characters: Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver
  • The phrase “rule of thumb” comes from an old English law that says you cannot beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb
  • The plane in which Buddy Holly died was called “American Pie”, hence, the title of Don McLean’s famous song
05
Jul
07

Viva Italia!

Sandy and I are a match made in Tuscany heaven and here’s empirical proof. We both took the test and our results are identical:


You Are Italian Food


Comforting yet overwhelming.
People love you, but sometimes you’re just too much.

What Kind of Food Are You?

03
Jul
07

Blind Leading the Blonde

You may have noticed so few posts here recently. Of course I could say my wife and I were out of town a few days visiting her folks in Florida but that’s not the real reason for my absenteeism. I confess there’s been so little in the way of inspiration of late. Today’s post is evidence of that.

I’ve got a ‘blonde’ joke for you.

Before I regale you with side-splitting humor, let me give you a little background. While in Florida, I visited one of my favorite church fellowships, the Calvary Chapel of St. Pete. The message was, as I’ve previously found, refreshing, poignant and heartfelt. As was the worship. The cool thing I experienced was some fellowship I enjoyed with a gentleman minutes before the service began. He took such an interest in me, my background and the fact I was a visiting pastor. About a minute before, he said, “Oh man, I gotta get up there” and nodded to the platform. Well, I knew he wasn’t the pastor because I remembered him, so I asked, “Are you on the worship team?” He smiled and said sheepishly, “Yeah, I guess you can say that. I’ve led worship here for twenty years.”

Thirty seconds later, Bob Corry was on the stage with two other men, leading us in acoustic worship that was water to my parched soul. So cool.

Anyhoo, Danny Hodges, the man I do remember as pastor, got up to speak, expositing from the gospels on the teaching ministry of our Savior. Nestled within the exposition this man launched into a blonde joke that took quite a risk but, frankly, he pulled off.

Seems a blind guy walks into a bar. He tells the barkeep he wanted to tell a blonde joke.

“I’ll have you know, sir,” the bartender said, “that I am blonde and could toss you out of here with no problem. I’ll also have you know the guy sitting next to you is a weightlifter and benchpresses several hundred pounds. He’s also blonde. And over your shoulder is a blonde guy who weighs over three hundred pounds and works as a bouncer. You still want to tell your blonde joke?”

The blind guy smiles and says, “Not if I have to explain it three times.”

The crowd roared and, last time I checked, the man is still pastor there.

I know what you’re thinking: Hurry up, Scott, and get inspired. This stuff is rubbish.




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